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Having dated a divorced guy, I can speak from experience of what to do and the mistakes to avoid if you do decide to go down this path with a divorced guy, especially if they have kids.

DATING MISTAKE 1: I ignored the signs of his opinion on kids.

I wanted to share my tips on how to thrive while dating a divorced dad to encourage you in case it's a risk you're thinking about taking. It's OK not to come first in his life all the time When you date a dad, there's a fear that you have to compete with his children for his time and attention. No, you aren't always going to be his number one priority in life but nor should you be.

I knew early on, that one of the reasons I loved him so much were his sound values.

I don’t think I will always do this, and there are certain moments when the phone definitely needs to be turned off, but while my kids are still pre-college, I’m at least going to make sure there is no emergency. But then there are my boundaries with both my kids and my ex that I have to enforce as well. But when the text dings and it is, in fact, one of my kids … Let’s take this from the perspective of a first date, rather than a developing relationship.

In a first date you are trying to make an impression.

Be particularly cautious if he's already looking for Spouse #2. Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up.

We all need time to heal and don't want to plunge blindly into the rebound relationship. But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation. If you each have children at different stages -- for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college -- anticipate some potential problems if you're hoping for a long-term relationship.

As I was writing my response, I realized I was writing my next post about relationships. And while I only have limited experience with being on the dad’s side, I do have a little knowledge of what you speak.

Scenario 1: Crisis If the issue is a crisis that requires a response, I will apologize, explain the situation briefly, and respond with a text or phone call.

From that point on, please treat it as an unexpected emergency. But if you’re avoiding the confrontation because “his kids need him all the time,” that might be the issue right there. When used in relationship, the “excuse” is often used to recover from a miss of some sort. The kids got home and all hell broke loose.” That might be okay, if your call was just a “nighty night” check-in, but if you were scheduled to talk about living arrangements, that might be an example of using the kids as an excuse for not taking responsibility.

TIP 1: Make sure you are both aligned to what you want.

Even though he said he wanted kids, I could tell half way through our dating that things had changed, and I ignored the signs.




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